Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Reflections...



Just some personal reflections that I felt I had to express, I've been living now for a couple of years with spread breast cancer and there are a lot of thoughts that goes through my head from time to time. Particularly when I've got an upcoming visit with my physician as I've got at the moment...
I've been treated with different kinds of chemotherapy for 5 years now, there's really nothing left to try if the present one isn't working. But I've had a lot of fun too during these years, so everything isn't as black as it seems here...

Journaling: How much time is left, when will it all end? Minutes and seconds goes by, faster all the time. I thought in my ignorance that I would get used to the thought that I will die, but it doesn't work that way, you'll never get used to that. It doesn't feel like that long time ago when i was a child with an eternity of time in front of me. Now death waits around the corner and I can only silently accept that time is running out...

Credits: Art Play Palette Fall Nr1 and Artsy Clocks No3 by Anna Aspnes. Doodled Stuff 5 by Jesse Edwards Designs. Everything from Designerdigitals.

8 comments:

Annie said...

This is such a beautiful layout! As a breast cancer survivor, my heart goes out to you in your struggle. My prayers are with you.

LovelyMissKait said...

Oh, Angelica, I am glad to see you keeping busy and still creating.
Love the page, but I am saddened to hear that your treatment is not progressing as you had hope. Your journaling is so painfully palpable. I wish you the best, and please try not to dwell on the negative and enjoy each day as it comes. The truth is that NOONE knows when their time is up as life is very unpredictable.
Sending you blessings and prayers.
Kait

Lulutoo said...

Sweetie, I made you a special layout: http://www.digishoptalk.com/gallery/showphoto.php?photo=1137856&cat=500 I hope you like it. Leave me a comment on my blog or send me a PM at DST if you would like the full size. :) Hugs, Lulu

Inge said...

What a beautiful layout you've maid. This must be what scrapping is about: sharing your innermost thought and preserving those.
Wishing you the best of luck.
God bless,

Inge

Tina Liel said...

Hi dear Angelica!!! I also wish you all the strength and courage in the world. A beautiful layout!!!!!! Hugs and warm warm thoughts

L said...

OMG, Angelica.....as hard as it is, *please* don't wear yourself out by thinking such thoughts. I'm sure its easier said than done but know that your family and friends love you and are with you. If I were there, I would give you a big Alaskan bear huge.....grizzly style!! You and your family are in my thoughts!

Maiskuli said...

Vad jag har tänkt på dig sedan din nyaste post, så ledsen blev jag över din situation, som gav mig så mycket att tänka på om livet och hur orättvist det tycks ibland vara. Och så litet man kan även säga om det hela utan att känna sig "urdum". Jag skulle gärna kunna trösta dig, att allt ska bli bra igen, men så fungerar det inte... Jag kan inte ens ana hur du kanske känner dig, men jag har märkt att jag tänker på dig mer och mer nuförtiden, som om jag med mina tankar kunde hålla dig bättre, dumt vet jag, men jag kan inte låta bli. Hoppas att du orkar och att du har alla dina kära människor tillräckligt nära.
Varma tankar till dig från Abo, Maiku

Arianna said...

Hi,I want to tell you that your page is simply beautiful, the photos, the colors, the blending, the journaling. All of it.
And what you wrote...it's honest and meaningful. I wouldn't tell you how or what to feel, nobody should really.
I'll say only that even if I don't know you and rarely posted comments in your blog in this last 2/3 years, I think of you from time to time and came here to see how you're doing (well hoping actually you're doing better.
If you made such an impression in a person so distant and unknown as me, you're doing something well. So keeps being yourself.
Hugs, Ari